It’s a conversation many of us avoid, but one that holds significant importance in ensuring clarity and peace of mind for all parties involved.
Chances are, if you’re reading this article, you know why planning in advance for our funerals makes practical sense. For many they want to reduce stress for their family. For others, they want to avoid leaving a financial burden for others to pay.
But how do we open a helpful conversation with our parents about their funeral plans and avoid upsetting them?
Let’s face it – discussing death is no walk in the park
For many, when the subject is broached, the reality of mortality becomes palpable, sometimes making it a daunting task to keep a positive outlook.
Some feel, that drawing attention to one’s dwindling future could cast a shadow over the present, robbing it of joy.
In approaching this delicate subject with our parents, it’s essential to understand that ageing may have coloured their perception of a lost future into a harsh reality – more life may lie behind them than ahead. This can be a difficult realisation to dwell upon.
We hope they can navigate these topics with a gentle smile and clasped hands
Often, we expect our older relatives to adopt a practical and stoic view of ageing and dying gracefully. However, the reality is that facing mortality is a complex personal journey. Hoping for an easier path for ourselves doesn’t equip our loved ones with the necessary tools to confront their own mortality.
Helping our parents meet this reality and openly discuss their funeral wishes is undoubtedly a challenging task. Instead of directly urging them to face the inevitable with stoic resolve, consider finding ways to gather the information you need without causing undue distress.
Do it for me
One effective strategy is to frame the conversation as an act of kindness aimed at easing your own concerns. Acknowledge that it may seem like an unreasonable excess of caution, but stress the importance of alleviating your anxieties rather than presenting it as “finalising affairs.”
Alternatively, approach the conversation as a family affair. Encourage your siblings, if you have them, to join in sharing their funeral wishes, creating an atmosphere of familial unity and administration that transcends generations. Like most fears, there’s confidence in numbers. When we all do something together, we grow in strength.
Recognising the inevitable can breathe life into our remaining time
What you may find, is that by creating space for gentle and candid conversations about funeral planning and ultimately each of our own mortalities, your parents may feel relieved to be able to speak openly.
After all, recognising the inevitability of life’s conclusion doesn’t have to diminish the present; rather, it serves as a reminder that we are the fortunate ones, granted the opportunity to appreciate the precious moments life still offers.
You may find this article a useful tool to share with your parents. It can guide them through a series of questions to help them reflect on their lives and leave a special legacy for generations to cherish.
For practical information about Avalon Funeral Plans, read our FAQs full of common questions.
